Liveblogging the Golden Globes: Red Carpet Edition

11:01: And with that, good night, lovelies.

11:00: The show ends on time for once. All in all VERY bland. No one too excited or too funny or anything. Meh. The Oscars will be better. They have to be.

10:58: He's like James May crossed with Mrs. Bates.

10:57: I DO NOT LIKE JAMES CAMERON. WHAT A SLIMY SMUG LUMP.

10:56: ARE THEY FREAKING KIDDING ME? I thought it was pretty generally accepted that Avatar is a kind of bad movie with good effects... surely the Academy won't do this too... right? RIGHT?!

10:56: Also, I didn't think that's where Julia Roberts's McCartney joke was going...

10:55: Dan thinks Precious. I think Up in the Air.

10:54: ROD BLAGOJEVICH (sp?) is going to be on the CELEBRITY APPRENTICE? The world may end.

10:52: Which film is going to win!? Avatar, The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, Precious, or Up In The Air?

10:50: Colin Farrel's eyebrows are related to Martin Scorsese's. Perhaps they're Scorsese's eyebrows' illegitimate Irish eyebrow-children.

10:49: Aren't they all supposed to be sloshed by now?

10:46: What a great category! I'm a little surprised by Jeff Bridges's win, but he's great.

10:46: Kate Winslet! Another classic asymmetrical dress.

10:43: In case you weren't properly in awe:

• Streep holds the record for the most Academy Award nominations of any actor, having been nominated 15 times since her first nomination in 1979 for The Deer Hunter (12 for Best Actress and 3 for Best Supporting Actress).
• Meryl Streep is the most nominated performer for a Golden Globe Award (she has 25 nominations as of 2009) and is also tied with Jack Nicholson and Angela Lansbury for most Golden Globes overall by an actor or actress (seven wins). Streep has received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
• In 2003, she was awarded an honorary César Award by the French Académie des Arts et Techniques du Cinéma. In 2004 at the Moscow International Film Festival, Meryl Streep was honored with the Stanislavsky Award for the outstanding achievement in the career of acting and devotion to the principles of Stanislavsky's school.In 2004, Streep received the AFI Life Achievement Award.
• In 2009, she was awarded an honorary Doctorate of Fine Arts by Princeton University.^[40]
• In 2010, She was awarded A Golden Globe for Best Actress in Julie and Julia

10:40: RDJ! Huzzah! He forgot his tie.

10:39: This is seriously a parade of "I wanted to see that movie." I need to make a SERIOUS new year's resolution to see more MOVIES for goodness sake.

10:36: Sandra Bullock. Yay happy for her but that dress is HEEEEEDIOUS. Oh, and I wanted to hear Gabourey Sidibe's acceptance speech.

10:35: Best Actress, DRAMA. We're getting serious now, people.

10:34: Arnie is plugging some movie called Abida. Sounds good.

10:27: I want to see The Hangover. ANDY IS SINGING.

10:13: My current celebrity top-5 (provisional, in no particular order): Johnny Depp, Colin Firth, Robert Downey Jr., Ralph Fiennes, Bradley Cooper. What's yours?

10:20: I love how the TV crowd always dresses like this is the Oscars. I guess it is the Oscars of TV. But still.

10:19: Glee. I guess I have to watch it now?

10:18: Of COURSE James Cameron calls his wife baby.

10:16: Could they not get Celine Dion to sing the Avatar song too?

10:15: That was a FUNNY Mel Gibson joke. Though Mel Gibson actually drunk is funnier than Mel Gibson pretending to be drunk.

10:12: Jodi Foster. She also chopped her hair.

10:11: Commercial Break. Dan's current celebrity top-5 (provisional, in no particular order): Christina Hendricks, Helen Mirren, Gillian Anderson, Thea Gilmore, Jennifer Connelly.

10:07: George Lucas, you are not as good as Scorsese. That's what that closeup was saying. "SEE! You're sitting down! He's getting a prize!"

10:04: Seriously, I hope RDJ isn't back on the coke.

10:03: It's handy when they incorporate a trailer for your new film into the montage for your lifetime achievement award.

9:58: Scorsese looks like he might cry. As usual. Also, his eyebrows have a life of their own.

9:56: Leonardo DiCaprio is taller than I thought/Robert DeNiro is shorter than I thought.

9:50: Ent ve hafe anozer Tscherman. This one doesn't have a ridiculous accent though.

9:49: I'm SO glad Halle Berry has that amazing hot short hair again. Not sure about her dress, though.

9:48: Ricky Gervais is still drinking that beer. He's not as drunk as he promised.

9:47: Chloe Sevigny's dress is wackadoo crazy.

9:45: I'll say it again: I don't care about Taylor Lautner.

9:39: And The Hamm is on stage too! AND PETE HAS MAD ROOTS! Bad orange highlights!

9:38: So many good dramas nominated. I don't get House being perpetually nominated... Mad Men is okay by me! And we get to see Christina Hendricks again!

9:37: Amy Poehler is lovely. Nice dress, too.

9:36: ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER IS AUSTRIAN NOT GERMAN.

9:35: Ze Tschermans are vinning zis price. "Wis my liddle English and my chetlack..."

9:33: Sophia Loren! May we all age with such grace. (Even half as gracefully.) (Of course, if we could all say "Thank you so much" with that much SEX in those few words, then we wouldn't have to be graceful.)

9:31: ANNA Paquin! What is GOING ON with your feet?! I secretly love your Blanche Devereaux-style, shiny dress, but I cannot ABIDE those shoes!

9:28: I love the Ernst & Young dudes. Most glamorous accountants in the world.

9:27: What previously scheduled charity event was Alec Baldwin at? The Snowball's Chance in Hell Annual Dinner?

9:26: That's settled. Jennifer Garner NEEDS to gain some weight ASAP.

9:25: Dan says I'm the diesel for his creative SUV.

9:24: So will Up in the Air take this as an opportunity to run away with all the rest of the awards or will they be cursed with "Great screenplay, but we're not going to give it the other awards?" I don't KNOW!

9:22: Gerard Butler is foxy. And You can see Jennifer Aniston's WHOLE LEG UP TO THE HIP in that dress.

9:21: Ricky Gervais is back again. And the camera crew is having ISH.

9:20: Cameron Diaz is NOT traditionally my favorite. But that's a pretty dress and I like the accessories.

9:14: Drew Barrymore: Adorable, kind of crazy dress, as usual. At least she did her hair this year.

9:12: Kevin Bacon! At least it wasn't for Hollow Man.

9:11: I was on the fence about Zoe Saldana's dress earlier, but think I might love it now.

9:10: I still haven't seen Precious, but need to, clearly.

9:08: Helen Mirren is so absurdly, ridiculously hot.

9:01: Meryl Streep (and Julia Child!) win! Hooray! "I want to change my name to T-Bone. T-Bone Streep." I think she was more like her real self in the dial tone scene of Adaptation than in any other role.

9:00: I almost choked at the sight of Marion Cotillard's diamond ring. Is she engaged? Married? Holy crap six carats.

8:59: And Ricky Gervais has gotten to the "Is it hot in here" phase of intoxication.

8:58: I am in love with Stanley Tucci. Also, Meryl Streep looks divine!

8:56: Hooray for talking over the play-off music. At least they're not lowering the mic this year.

8:54: Grey Gardens for the win! Boring acceptance speech, though. They should always let the actors do it.

8:53: Let's settle this once and for all - Amy Adams's dress? Green or black?

8:47: Seriously, that is a crazy corset under Cher's crazy-ass dress. Of course it's not this, but it's still wacky.

8:46: The Edge! The Edge is there! Related reading: http://bit.ly/5ZbZ49

8:45: Me: I think Cher is actually a drag queen.
Dan: She's going to end up looking like Michael Jackson.
Me: But she still looks like herself. She has good doctors.

8:44: Oh, Paul McCartney, you asked for it.

8:41: Tracie over at Jezebel says, "Not that she cares, but I like when Julianna Margulies wears her hair curly." Me too, Tracie.

8:36: Juliana Margulies stopped to kiss Dr. Ross. (And, Yeah, that dress will rip.)

8:35: I love January Jones, but WHAT is she wearing. That is not a question.

8:33: Aww, Michael C. Hall... I like him so much and his cancer makes me so sad. But he wins! Yay! It's PREPOSTEROUS that he didn't ever win for Six Feet Under. Also, I would have committed murder to see him in Cabaret.

8:31: Now we're drinking cocktails made with cranberry goop, pureed clementines, and champagne. Delish.

8:30: Felicity Huffman is all verklemmt. But her dress is kind of amazing.

8:21: Coraline! Coraline Coraline Coraline! That's my vote. Yeah, but no. It's Up.

8:20: Paul McCartney is wearing a weird scarf. Also, you'd think in between all his eyebrow lifts they would have done his jowls.

8:17: I guess John Lithgow was the killer on that season of Dexter. Hm. Wait - he WON something for Third Rock from the Sun?

8:12: They do get those first couple awards out of the way very quickly. I also love the schmoozing shots when they go to commercial.

8:10: Best actress in comedy TV: I want Tina Fey to win, but.... it's Toni Collette.

8:09: Looks like Gaby has those cool foil nails.

8:06: Mo'Nique wins... do we see big things for Precious? As long as Gabourey Sidibe wins and we get to see her do an acceptance speech I don't care about the others.

8:06: Nominations, in case you missed them.

8:05: Nicole Kidman is wearing a pale flesh toned gown, as always. At least she's got red hair.

8:04: Shame Angelina isn't there to glower.

8:02: Cue penis jokes.

8:00: Switching to NBC, show is starting right on time. Does anyone know what the Golden Globes music is? They always play that tune. Bracing myself for Ricky Gervais to say something embarrassing.

7:59: Courteney Cox with an exposed zipper! I kind of like it!

7:55: Can someone tell me how Guiliana Rancic (Dan says rancid) got famous? Her wikipedia page doesn't help me understand.

7:53: Jane Krakowski is Jenna.

7:52: Pregnant Amy Adams is lovely.

7:52: Christina Hendricks is wearing CHRISTIAN SIRIANO! Happiness explosion! I love her red hair, I love her red lips, I love her peachy dress. I'd also get a little wild with Meryl Streep. Christina, please invite me to that party.

7:47: Oof. Jezebel has an image of Jennifer Garner where you can see ribs above boobs. SO thin.

7:46: Guiliana's "George, I have Anna Kendrick" is the new Ryan running down the carpet after Brangelina. P.S. Anna Kendrick's Marchesa is crazy, but kind of fun.

7:43: Ryan Seacrest is talking to Tobey Maguire, who is VERY SKINNY. All these skinny men. On a brighter note, Dan said menwholooklikeoldlesbians.com when Paul McCartney came on camera. Hilarious.

7:42: Tracy Morgan apparently "broke away from the black." Thank you, Mr. Jay.

7:35: Did Heidi split the seam in her dress? Why is she holding on to her butt otherwise? Also it's not Klumm. It's Klooooom. Oh, she's so German! "I'm not going to tell you! People have to follow along for themselves!"

7:34: Had everyone else already forgotten about the Writer's Strike and the year of No Golden Globes?

7:34: Kate Hudson always wears white. I think there's a joke about being always a bridesmaid, etc... in there.

7:33: Courteney Cox is skinny. Love her earrings. Hate the word cougar. Cougar cougar cougar.

7:31: I don't care about Taylor Lautner.

7:30: Jon Hamm continues the publicity tour to prove to us that he's actually fratty. I like the beard. Manly. Like Darwin. http://bit.ly/7NBTZt

7:28: Looks like Keith Urban borrowed Nicole's straightener for tonight, as always. I'm afraid he's going to turn into Billy Ray.

7:27: Ryan, the rain is not causing havoc. And yes, Jennifer Garner looks fit and fabulous.

7:26: Reviewing what I missed while cooking: I long to ask Quentin Tarantino about the "trip" he "took" with Brad Pitt, but off camera.

7:22: Memo to Ryan Seacrest: Harvey Weinstein wasn't that into that hug. That can't help your career, buddy.

7:21: Toni Collette = gorgeous. Mr. Jay and I disagree about Emily Blunt's gown, however.

7:20: I love Amy Adams's shoes with her dress, but prefer her hair when it's curly.

7:19: I understand Robert Downey Jr. got really buff for Sherlock, but isn't he getting a little thin?

7:19: If I drink Angel Rose, will my boobs get bigger?

7:18: Mariah Carey brought her boobs. Did she get implants? I mean, she's beautiful, but something is very ... top-heavy about her. I think maybe the shoulder scaffolding might be throwing it off, somehow, but wow. Just wow. Maybe the shoulders are actually for support.

7:14: Tonight can't be just about the movies. That's right, Penelope.

7:11: To return to our normal programming for a moment, the fried rice we're eating is delicious and was made (thanks to a brilliant suggestion by Liz) from the leftover filling from the dumplings I made yesterday. Look forward to a big Asian-ish blog post soon.

7:09: "I'm not like Puff Daddy. I hold my own umbrella." Penelope Cruz, you SLAY me. Also, ballsy enough to pin the Haiti ribbon on her dress. Not that any designer is going to get pissed at Penelope freaking CRUZ.

7:07: Ok, I just saw the bottom of Marion Cotillard's dress. I most emphatically do not approve. Also, RYAN is letting us DOWN not asking abou tthe dresses.

7:06: Ryan Seacrest is with Tina Fey now! Tina Fey Tina Fey Tina Fey! She's rooting for Glee. Like everyone.

7:04: Chloe Sevigny does not disappoint. Big freaking ruffles and crazyface.

7:02: TINA FEY. IT's like LAUGH IN! But I love that she's carrying her own umbrella.

7:01: Steve Carrell is a little bit more earnest than his English counterpart.

7:00: Marion Cotillard - lovely as always. (And we're back from our dinner-cooking break! We're eating fried rice!) Also, Stephen Moyer and Anna Paquin, SO CUTE! To think I was only about ten feet away from her once and didn't manage to meet her. - P.S. HOW did Ryan not ask about Anna Paquin's dress?

6:37: Do we have time for Emily Blunt?! YES! Ooh, not so sure about the dress, though.

6:36: Sandra bullock looks exactly how you'd expect. Christina Hendricks looks SPECTACULAR, though the color of her dress is a little clashy with the fair fair skin.

6:34: Neil Patrick Harris is adorable. What he really wants to do is direct. Also, E! needs to figure out their cameras. Too many different shots and too many shots of CAMERAS.

6:33: I kind of love Glam Cam 360. Kyra Sedgwick does look really good in that dress.

6:32: The big love girls clearly didn't want to talk to Giuliana, so they talked to each other.

6:30: So many people in dresses they can't walk in!

6:29: Peggy Olsen (Elisabeth Moss) has bangs! And is wearing Amsale! Wedding chic. Aw, and cute story about meeting her husband on SNL.

6:28: Mickey Rourke is there, with a young Russian woman and a weird Cowboy-Fedora. Ooh, and snakeskin lapels. Also, Maggie Gyllenhaal has arrived and is wearing a beautiful color!

6:23: CAREY MULLIGAN YOU ARE ADORABLE!

6:22: Ricky Gervais has ARRIVED. He seems determined to get in trouble. I hope he's not bluffing.

6:21: Did Jane Lynch just say "Where is that fucker?!"

6:20: Jane Lynch, very PRETTY! But what gives with the wrinkles! Also, where is her girlfriend? I want to see!

6:18: Giuliana has an eating disorder, right?

6:16: Brief glimpse of Glenn Close! She looks so good! And of course there's a ribbon to remember Haiti. Thanks Lisa Edelstein.

6:13: If you feel like opting out of the commercials provided to you, join us watching The Most Interesting Man in the World: http://bit.ly/2D1xN1

6:08: Commercial break: here are some other live blogs to follow, if you don't find me entertaining enough: http://bit.ly/5fIGrt, http://bit.ly/5fIGrt http://bit.ly/4pGJ6r

6:04: Jennifer Morrision: your boyfriend did NOT get you a good Christmas present. SERIOUSLY.

6:03: "We're not M&M's... we're not gonna die! Sofia Vergara. I don't know who you are, Sofia, but I love you

6:02: It's RAINING in LA. Just discussed with my sister how it must be the hardest job for a PA - "hold my umbrella, but stay out of the picture!). Also, looking forward to another brilliant performance by Ryan Seacrest (If you don't know why I'm looking forward to him making an ass of himself, look here: http://bit.ly/7q6NSx). I'm with the Fug Girls, hoping he chases someone down the red carpet.