Just briefly...

"When I look at digital, the dark side of it for me is the physicality that's being presented alongside the Internet. I think about that movie The Matrix, and about these bodies that are human batteries that support computers. I met this guy who was creating software where you could watch Mad Men and you could chat with your friend while you're watching it, and things would pop up, and facts would pop up, and I said, 'You're a human battery. Turn the fucking thing off! You're not allowed to watch the show anymore. You're missing the idea of sitting in a dark place and having an experience. Are you just like sitting with your phone and you're kissing your girlfriend and saying, "I'm kissing my girlfriend! This is so great, we're having sex!'" EXPERIENCE THINGS!"
— Matthew Weiner, creator of Mad Men, at the New Yorker Festival (via Jezebel)

That is all.

*emphasis mine

Two Meals

One: Fish.

As you might recall. I hadn't until recently cooked fish before. I did try, though, and it worked out great! This is what I did.
I drizzled a casserole dish with olive oil, then placed a half-pound cod filet (cut into two servings) into the pan. I drizzled the fish again with olive oil and seasoned with salt and pepper, some thyme and rosemary. Then, I chopped garlic and two roma tomatoes and sprinkled them over the top. I squeezed half a lemon over the fish and sliced the other half. I placed the slices on top of the fish and sprinkled capers over. Then I baked the fish until it was flaky. I served with steamed broccoli and buttery cous cous. Delish.

Two: Picnic.

Last weekend, my girlfriends and I descended on Northampton for our fifth college reunion. In a (feeble) effort to save money, we thought we would lunch on the grass on picnic food rather than forking out for a reunion-sponsored meal or schmancy restaurant option. Though I would be surprised if any of us actually saved money with this plan, we did indulge in one of the most delicious, nostalgic, idyllic early-summer picnics you could imagine.
On this plate:

• Satay noodles - the stuff of my dreams - from the State Street Fruit Store Deli. Oh, how I have missed these noodles.
• CRAZY delicious strawberries.
• Sunflower seed bread with cheddar and sopressata.
• Rosemary bread with brie. French Batard with smoked gouda. Bread from the Hungry Ghost Bakery.
• We also had prosecco with strawberry juice.

We all lounged on a blanket under the Big Elm Tree on Chapin Lawn and swapped stories and muppet imitations and news from our every-days. The funny thing was that even though we're five years and miles and miles away from then, it seemed like nothing more than the old every-day we had in college. Much love to all my Smithies.

Ch-ch-ch-changes

So much is in transition right now... I've moved to the new apartment and am waiting for Dan to arrive. But I am still living out of a suitcase and sleeping on an air mattress because I haven't finished moving and don't have a chest of drawers. I'm cooking for myself, but don't have enough dishes or surface space to do much. I'm trying to start reading for my generals, but I don't really have a good place to do that yet.

Oh, and I'm going to be legally married in a little over a month, crazy as that sounds. I'm having all the attending nerves and jitters, but am entirely excited. Planning is going very well. While I was trying on the dress I ended up buying, I also found out that my very best friend is engaged, which is exciting, but also unsettling. It's so strange that we're all growing up. I'm reminded of a passage in one of the Anne books when Diana is getting married, I think. Or maybe it's in Little Women, when Amy marries Laurie (which is STILL upsetting). I should look up those passages. Might make a good toast for the wedding...

It's just unbelievable to me that we're going through these major life changing events, and at the same time. It's nice to have company and to be making these decisions at the same time, but it's also kind of sad. Clearly, life is changing and with it our friendship will probably also change by millimeters. I'm not worried about it ending or anything like that, but am trying to understand how life is going to look once I'm not living by myself and once I'm committed to someone for Ever. And trying to get used to the idea of making big decisions based on more than just myself.

It's a lot of transition all at once, but I'm sure it'll all shake out in a pleasing way. It might be unsettling for a while, but once we're settled it'll be clear that it's the right thing. It's already clearly the right thing, but it's a bit nervous-making. But then I've always thought one would be certifiable if one weren't a little bit nervous before saying the big I Do.

Here is a rather good response to my rant of yesterday.

Ungeduld...

On the subject of dissatisfaction... I'm feeling really antsy for no good reason. Of course, I have papers to write and to grade, exams to prepare and all that, but I'm not feeling stressed about them. I am naturally feeling procrastinatory, but what I really want is to have some totally random, totally surreal, totally weird experience, like I often do when in Europe. Last trip, it was the squatter bar. In my Cologne year, it was so many things... Amsterdam and stumbling around the red light district with Dan, Aachen and the Feuerzangenbowle, that one night I was out with Dan and Crispy and we ended up in some swanky bar doing really sweet shots, (my birthday that year was the underbelly-bad-version of this phenomenon). In Hamburg it was also a lot of nights... any choice of Kiez nights, stumbling to the Fischmarkt at dawn or going to the Golden Pudel the first time, or that night with the white wine and the boys from RLH or, even, translating Red Hot Chili Peppers at 3 in the morning with a totally un-surreal Spießer-boy.

I read about things like Ruby Town and the bizarre-o things that happen there (thanks, Paul, to whom I link quite often) and I wonder why everything here seem to have to be done under the auspices of a university or everything needs to be already established as Important or be, at the very least, easily digestible to be shown as art. I'm no huge art buff, but I do really appreciate the kind of mild discomfort encouraged in the art world I've glimpsed in Germany. The cool thing about it is that you can go and have these surreal experiences without much effort at finding your own surreality. Here even the supposed bastions of the avant-garde aren't even avant-garde any more.

To do something here that gives the same surreal feeling, the same kind of out-of-body feeling, you have to go a little more out of your way, a little more into territories that seem less safe. Maybe I feel this way about Germany because of its unavoidable foreignness. No matter how well I know the place, it's still going to be foreign, barring exceptional circumstances like moving there and staying forever. But even then. But what I mean is that no matter how normal the things I do there would seem in Boston, say, they seem odd because of the inherent foreignness of being there. I mean, I could maybe seek out some underground bar in Chinatown and have that same feeling, but I'm not at all sure it would be safe.

I wonder if it is just this city that is staid and rubber-stamped and whether I'm getting more boring and old because of it.

Or maybe I just need to write my papers and stop whining. Or just go get trashed somewhere weird tonight.