3.07.2010

Oscars Liveblog!

12:02: Well, that wraps it up. On to the after parties, which I will not be liveblogging.

12:00:
Also, it's great that it wasn't a big studio picture for once. It had been a while.

11:59:
With absolutely no fanfare, it's The Hurt Locker! Restoring my faith in the Academy for another year.

11:58:
Captain Douchey was just shaking his head and frowning at Kathryn Bigelow. Perhaps she should have thanked him specifically.

11:56:
Yeah, The Hurt Locker was really amazing.

11:56:
If there's any justice in the world Avatar also won't win Best Picture. So nice to have a woman win for Directing.

11:55:
Kathryn Bigelow! HOORAY!

11:53:
So much potential for goodness or badness.

11:52:
If anyone can lend a sense of drama, it's Barbra Streisand. And she wore a pants suit!

11:52:
That was lovely.

11:50:
Sandra Bullock prepared her speech. That's nice.

11:49:
That was predictable. Kind of disappointing. Where's the Oscar drama? Still coming up?

11:48:
It always feels like he's giving a eulogy. Like tears are a breath away.

11:48:
Couldn't he do up his tie?

11:47:
I wish Stanley Tucci were my friend. Also, I want Meryl Streep's bracelets.

11:46:
St. Meryl.

11:45:
See, this makes me really wish that Gabby would win.

11:44:
Gabby's going to cry because Oprah knows how to deliver a line.

11:43:
Carey Mulligan is adorable, but should not be bottle blonde.

11:42:
Helen Mirren has a spiderweb tattoo!

11:41:
Tony Blair!

11:40:
Bringing out the big guns... Oprah's there to pitch (presumably Gabby). Votes are already in!

11:39:
Best Actress time! Big potential for drama.

11:35:
He's so mellow.

11:34:
When the Dude says "Raise your hand, man" you'd better stand up.

11:32:
Kate Winslet is so fabulous. And I'm so very happy for Jeff Bridges. Maybe it's because he didn't get a nom for Stick It.

11:31:
TITANIC MUSIC.

11:30:
I WILL go see Ondine just to see Colin Farrell speak in his own accent.

11:29:
I would believe anything Julianne Moore said about anything, but especially nice things about Colin Firth.

11:28:
Vera Farmiga seems like she's just lovely.

11:27:
A lot of people say that if Jeff Bridges wins, it'll be a lifetime achievement award. I say those people haven't seen Crazy Heart. He absolutely deserves to win.

11:24:
Michelle Pfeiffer looks fabulous.

11:24:
Best Actor time!

11:18:
Kathy Bates! I think Avatar won't translate to DVD.

11:18:
James Cameron looks unhappy. Threatened? Nervous? Bored?

11:17:
"I'd like to thank the Academy for not counting Na'vi as a foreign language."

11:15:
Best Foreign Language Film. Quentin is high as always.

11:10:
This might be happening at an after party.

11:05:
Keanu Reeves! Why is he introducing The Hurt Locker?

11:05:
I repeat, George is bored.

11:05: Fisher Stevens was Larry in Only You. Genius.

11:04:
The Cove - it's like Whale Wars, but competent.

11:01:
Documentary - having not seen any of them, I generally count on the most depressing one to win.

10:57:
George is bored.

10:56:
Up in the Air was so great.

10:55:
That's the one Avatar had to win.

10:52:
But I'm totally okay with Up winning.

10:51: As with everything, Avatar's soundtrack was fine, but Not Original. My vote: Sherlock Holmes.

10:48:
Of course, I generally expect my Interpretive Oscar dance to have something to do with the music. Maybe that's just me.

10:46:
I LOVE interpretive Oscar dance!

10:40:
James Taylor is so classy and this is a lovely song.

10:37: Preternaturally young-looking Demi Moore gets to introduce the memorial montage. For once she's not wearing black.

10:36:
ANIMATED MOVIES DON'T GET NOMINATED FOR CINEMATOGRAPHY AWARDS.

10:35:
Cinematography is a tight category too. You know what I'm voting for.

10:35:
What the hell kind of fabric is that dress.

10:30:
I still like Inglourious Basterds a lot.

10:26:
Yay! Down with Avatar! See, JC, the 3d is cool, but you can't ride it to the end!

10:26:
Will it be a twofer?

10:26:
Look at the viking sound editor go!

10:25:
We have HOPE! The Hurt Locker beats Avatar on a technical award!

10:24:
It's like a PSA for why we should care about Sound Editing.

10:22:
Lots of horror movies. Quentin liked it. Also, it turns out Zac Efron is also a miniature person.

10:18:
I've never seen her in anything, but I think I really like Kristen Stewart.

10:17:
I love the horror movie with Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin! It's paranormal!

10:12:
If anything's going to take down both Avatar and The Hurt Locker, I think it'll be Precious.

10:11:
Frosted boobs!

10:10:
Costume Dramas! Sandy Powell is amazing. That's a lot of look, but she rocks it.

10:08:
Costume Design... Please give this one to The Young Victoria. Ugh. I cringe at SJPs dress.

10:07:
"This Oscar sees you." BLAH.

10:06:
Avatar wins for Art Direction. This is where the Avatar landslide starts.

10:05:
Sigourney Weaver is gorgeous.

10:01:
And she's eloquent again.

9:59:
I have high hopes for this speech...

9:58:
Mo'Nique looks ridiculously good in Precious. And she wins!

9:55: Best Supporting Actress! This is the toughest for me to call.

9:53: Huh. I'm not sure how I feel about not having the lifetime achievement award at the big event. I miss the big syrupy montages.

9:52:
Queen Latifah looks radiant!

9:50:
Things just got interesting... with the screenplay win, Precious makes a serious run for Best Picture gold. Shaping up to be heartbreak all around for Up in the Air.

9:49:
I really need to see An Education, don't I?

9:47:
I LOVE Rachel McA's dress.

9:43:
Jeff Bridges is awesome. A Serious Man also looks good.

9:40:
The Young Victoria was CRIMINALLY overlooked. Also, I forgot how much I liked Star Trek.

9:39:
James Cameron is laughing because he knows he has to. I think it's brilliant.

9:37:
YES! Ben Stiller as a Na'vi.

9:32:
Gherkin Schmerkin.

9:28:
Carey Mulligan shows Zoe Saldana how a young actress should dress for the Oscars. I understand ZS is wearing Givenchy, but that dress was just not a good idea.

9:25:
BLESS ED ASNER! Lou Grant forever!

9:24:
Up for Best Picture! Oh man, I'm going to cry again!

9:22:
Macaulay Culkin has grown up to be a ten year old Steve Buscemi.

9:20:
This John Hughes montage is the stuff happiness is made of.

9:17:
Molly Ringwald and Matthew Broderick! It's the 80s!

9:15:
The Hurt Locker - the evening starts out well for The Hurt Locker. Please note the absence of Avatar in this category.

9:14:
Robert Downey, Jr. and Tina Fey. Delicious together. Best Original Screenplay! Inglourious Basterds, PLEASE!

9:09:
I have that sick sinking feeling that I always get when there's a movie I really don't want to win.

9:05:
District 9. I didn't realize it was set in Apartheid-y times. That makes it a little deeper than I originally thought.

9:05:
T-Bone's the strong silent type.

9:04:
Hooray! I'm no country fan, but i love everything about the music from that movie.

9:03:
Crazy Heart! I wish it would win everything. Everything that Inglourious Basterds doesn't win, that is.

9:03:
Did anyone see Paris 36? Hear of it?

9:02:
Also, I'm with the Fug Girls re: Miley Cyrus needing to stand up straight. It looks like she either has scoliosis or is afraid her boobs will pop out if she stands up straight. Unforgivable.

9:01:
Best song: are they not going to perform any of them?

9:00:
Cut to Bradley Cooper, cue my heart to skip a beat.

8:59:
UP! Hooray! Now, it would be awesome if it won Best Picture, too.

8:58:
Best Animated Feature - we all agree it's going to be Up, right?

8:51:
Vera Farmiga's dress sticks out two feet from her knees. You think they had to put her in the front row?

8:51:
Lifetime TV for women! The Blind Side. I feel like I've seen the whole movie via clips and trailers.

8:48:
Waltz!! "That's an Überbingo!" Also, I LOVE his speeches with their extended metaphors!

8:47:
Stanley Tucci is SO SCARY!

8:45:
Long clips!

8:44: Penelope REALLY knows how to dress herself. AND Best Supporting Actor is NOW! Waltz! Make it Waltz!

8:43:
Alec is randomly rocking a Mid-Atlantic accent. Did he study up with Gomes?

8:41:
She sent him "a gift basket with a timer." And he reciprocated with a "Toyota."

8:40:
It's the JELLYFISH from Avatar!

8:38:
Apparently goofy race jokes are de rigeur.

8:37:
"Rugby and tensions between blacks and whites." ??

8:35: Meryl Streep has the most losses for Best Actress.

8:34:
Steve and Alec are already the best Oscar hosts EVER.

8:34:
P.S. for all you Netflix subscribers: did you know that you can watch Dr. Horrible on their website?

8:34:
NPH kickline!

8:33: I dig the old-school chorus girls.

8:32: "
Why does a prisoner drop the soap? No one wants to do it alone." Weird. But funny.

8:31:
Neil Patrick Harris! But he said he wasn't doing it! HOORAY!

8:30:
On the nose. That's a GLITTERY set. All the best actors and actresses all together. Renner dumped the model and the hotel in time for the show, I guess.

8:29:
I don't know if you all are Twits or not, but Roger Ebert is seriously in love with Christoph Waltz. Check it.

8:27: Well that was uncomfortable. Now it's time for the real show.

8:26:
Meryl is wearing Chris March again! Awesome! Project Runway for the win!

8:25:
Kathy Ireland takes the prize for WORST INTERVIEW QUESTION EVER. "What can you share with us?" It even left GABBY without an answer.

8:23:
Winslet in YSL. Lovely.

8:22:
Again, I don't care about Miley cyrus, but I want her earrings. Also, I wish Kathy Ireland would relax her right arm. It looks painful.

8:21:
It's the PWC geeks with their VERY IMPORTANT briefcases!

8:16:
THIS WHOOPI GOLDBERG AD IS NUTS.

8:17:
While we're stuck on commercial, watch this.

8:16: I will only say this once. These words have never passed my lips before: Cameron Diaz looks fabulous. Oscar de la Renta CANNOT go wrong.

8:15:
SJP is TOO TAN. Also, that dude says of her dress "You should steal it." He's a closet case.

8:10:
Helen Mirren and Christopher Plummer. That's a new fantasy couple. The Captain still has it.

8:08:
Even the commercials are worse on ABC.

8:05:
Sandra Bullock... also in Marchesa. Marchesa must make a ton of money for the Oscars. Do you think that she is a wheeler-dealer for Harvey Weinstein?

8:05:
George Clooney is holding on to his girlfriend's butt.

8:04:
Jake Gyllenhaal is beautiful.

8:03:
Maggie's lipstick isn't my favorite color.

8:02: Anna Kendrick is a miniature person. All of the Supporting Actress nominees look good, but it's a lot of look that's going on in that booth.

8:01:
Sherri Shepherd? I thought it STARTED at 8? Do I still have to WAIT?

8:00:
I hope you've all switched over to ABC now. All sorts of old footage in montage.

7:53:
Kate Winslet looks like a million bucks.

7:52:
And there's Jeff Bridges. I wonder if Jeremy Renner is still AWOL. Also, JB's wife is gorgeous.

7:51: This also makes me like Gerard Butler a bit more.

7:49:
I also don't really care about Gerard Butler. Though I might amend that if he actually does moon the Academy.

7:44: The Back-Up Plan looks hideous.

7:43:
ROBERT DOWNEY, JR. LOVE LOVE LOVE. DROOL. Even with the tinted glasses and Jr. Republican haircut. I dearly, deeply love him.

7:40:
Gabby looks FABULOUS. Marchesa did her proud. And she says she wants to do a movie with Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. I, too, want to go to there.

7:39:
YES! Quoth the Fug Girls: "J.Lo vs Seyfried, in similar Armani! i suspect J.Lo might have thoughts about that tomorrow on GFY... -H"

7:34:
Tom Ford is getting a LOT of mentions tonight. I agree that Rachel McAdams looks all kinds of fabulous. Though Dan and I both prefer her brunette.

7:31:
Meryl Streep is lovely. I want to be her friend. "You were cheerleading a little bit but that's okay."

7:30:
I'd like to draw your attention to this blind item. So far we seen George Clooney, Morgan Freeman, and Colin Firth. That leaves Jeremy Renner and Jeff Bridges.

7:29:
Oh, I CAN'T wait to see what the Fug Girls have to say about J.Lo. and Amanda Seyfried wearing BASICALLY the same dress. I hope we get an open letter from la Lo.

7:28:
Colin Firth.... He can do no wrong. But I think he's had a little tipple before showing up!

7:27:
IS Clint Eastwood really that great? I've never gotten that. Also, another shot of Intern George's hair and it's a REAL mullet. However, I can't hold it against him because he was signing autographs.

7:25:
In case you need it, there's a slideshow here.

7:20:
Who is the Brit with the Dentyne and the terrible accent?

7:19:
Charlize Theron frosted her tits for the evening.

7:18:
Stanley Tucci is great. I like his beard. I like his glasses. I love him very much.

7:17:
I love how tall Katheryn Bigelow is. Do we think JC was too uncomfortable with such a tall woman? What a little man.

7:16:
Helen Mirren in the background!! She's so great I love her. Also, Clooney has a wavy mullet.

7:15:
SJP looks wackadoo (CHANEL?!) with the biggest bun I've ever seen.

7:14: Mommy Cyrus is scary.

7:12:
I've bailed on Baba Wawa because the Red Carpet is just so good. However, I just clicked over to hear about Mo'Nique's hairy legs and open marriage. Baba apparently thinks if your husband likes hairy legs, that's all that matters.

7:09:
Sandra Bullock is 45?

7:07: Is Antonio Banderas playing Castro? Whither the sexy?

7:06: Fug Girls just reminded me: Carey Mulligan looks great. Also, I wish Miley Cyrus would just stay home. Not interested.

7:05:
Check. Tim McGraw is in The Blind Side. I'm a bitch.

7:04: Amanda Seyfried is playing Red Riding Hood? Who's directing that? NEED TO KNOW MORE.

7:03: I just saw Penelope Cruz. Lady knows her color.

7:02: Why are Faith Hill and Tim McGraw there? It's not the CMAs.

7:01:
Tyler Perry presents Tyler Perry's tux by Prada.

7:00:
Sandra Bullock looks lovely. Her hair is perfect, her dress is kind of amazing. She seems nervous.

6:58:
Diane Kruger is lovely and her English is great, but her dress is dreadful.

6:58:
Giuliana appears to be wearing a pair of bedazzled spiderwebs on her ears.

6:55:
Is Maggie G pregnant? I hate saying that, but it really kind of looked like it from the side.

6:52: Tina Fey is lovely! And Michael Kors deserves a prize for everything he's ever designed.

6:51:
Two thoughts: Sandra Bullock seems to look spectacular and is presuming that she's won. Also, Diane Kruger is wearing something that looks like a bunch of cotton balls hot-glued to a sheet.

6:49:
Sigourney Weaver is so much taller and better than Ryan Seacrest. Also, I love her dress. WAIT. She's POLE-DANCING in a DISNEY movie?!

6:44:
Mr. Jay is wearing Tom Ford. Serendipity.

6:43:
Tom Ford. Yum. But what a schmoozy mofo.

6:41:
The vowel-hoggers Maggie Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard are with Ryan now. Maggie's dress is Dries van Noten, but looks like one of the prints from Jean Paul Gaultier for Target.

6:38:
And Ryan Seacrest is Adiosing someone else to talk to someone more important again. This time "bye, Jason Reitman, I have to kowtow to James Cameron," who is wearing a pocket square in "Na'vi Blue." I bet he picked out his wife's dress color too.

6:36:
Tina Fey is here! Looking fabulous. I hope Alec Baldwin calls her Lemon from the stage.

6:35:
"She's a chick that's halfway like a dude... I mean that as a compliment." Is that code for "lesbian?"

6:34:
Please alert Michael Scott that they have released the PT Cruiser Couture Edition.

6:30:
James Cameron has arrived. He's had a haircut and flatiron treatment. In other news, Vera Farmiga (in Marchesa) is lovely. Her dress may be fabulous, but E! only gives us tight shots. WTF.

6:28: WHY DOESN'T RYAN ASK ABOUT THE DESIGNERS? Also, it's kind of cool that they have a DJ, but couldn't they do better than Joel Madden?

6:27:
Zoe Saldana! That dress is CRAZY. Love it. She's seriously had the PR speech about motion-capture memorized, then. Did James Cameron hand out talking points?

6:13: You know, I'm proud of Giuliana. She looks a little less skeletal than she did at the GGs.

6:12:
What's Mo'Nique wearing on her head? Oh, and Zoe Saldana has arrived wearing something CRAZY. Enter the crazies.

6:10:
Ryan Seacrest clearly wants to be talking to Mo'Nique and not Anna Kendrick all of a sudden.

6:09: There is Anna Kendrick! It's ... pink and frilly. Also, Mariska Hargitay showed up!

6:06: Welcome! We're getting started now! Looks like we're getting started with a bang - Anna Kendrick is there. From the two inches we got to see, it looks like a Mother of the Bride special... scary. Happy to see that Giuliana is actually not ON the Red Carpet. And they put a tent between her and the carpet! Hooray!

6 comments:

jljones said...

I'm telling you: District 9 is deep. Also: Iraq war parable.

I like the Diet coke commercial music. What is it?

Darby O'Shea said...

You know, I didn't even notice the commercial. I might have been getting a drink.

jljones said...

Well, I won our Oscar vote. And I firmly disagree about the interpretive dancers: they were amazing. And the "Up" music makes me cry every time.

Hurray for Hurt Locker!

DLR said...

That's an Überbingo.

booksandcoffee said...

ANIMATED MOVIES DON'T GET NOMINATED FOR CINEMATOGRAPHY AWARDS.

Seriously!!

Also, thanks for the liveblog! :) Only the good parts, and it only takes me 2 hours to read instead of 6 to watch. Hehe.

Jess said...

I just read through your liveblog. You're fun. (And we missed you!) AND - I'm so glad that you loved Up. I had a feeling you would, despite the all-too-pretty animation.